Setting Boundaries or Dictating Terms?

 Is it OK to demand certain types of behaviour or content from the people that you choose to follow/friend?

I don't mean:
"This is my feed, I can say what I like. unfollow/unfriend if you don't like it"

The sort of thing I'm talking about is:
"If you send me a game request I'll unfollow/unfriend immediately"
"Any content sourced from this publication means I will block you"
"I don't like people talking about sex, so don't do it or lose me as a friend"

... and so on.


One of the great advantages of social media, particularly Twitter, is the ability to alter who you're following with the minimum of fanfare. There's always a degree of fluidity involved when you're interacting with people. I've learned to accept "unfollows" as a part of being on social media. It happens. People unfollow me - I unfollow people. No big deal or drama.

If someone posts something I disagree with then it's either the opportunity for a calm debate, or time to have a cup of tea until the feed has moved on a bit.

On the very rare occasions that an individual has posted something I find upsetting, then a quick click to unfollow/unfriend sorts the matter our very quickly.


So why do some people want to dictate terms to the people that they've chosen to interact with? Why not just unfollow people that infringe your personal rules?

Do I need to start posting things like:
"If you dictate behaviour and content for the people you follow, I'll unfollow you"?

I think not...

Twitter simple essentials

If you want to be a success on Twitter then there a number of quick and easy things you can do to ease your way into the community. Here are a few essentials to get you started:

Don't be an egg!
Make time to upload a picture for your avatar. If you're shy about using a picture of yourself at first, then use a logo or a picture of your premises or a flower, a dolphin, a cat... you get the idea. I personally wouldn't use a picture of a child - ever - on Twitter, but that's your call. (Remember, I advised against it though!)

There is a perception, common to inveterate Tweeters, that 'eggs' are accounts that aren't to be taken seriously.


A coherent biography
If your tongue is firmly in your cheek when calling yourself a ninja or a guru then you might get away with it. On the whole, an honest description of what you do will go down much better. Don't forget to add your web address too.


No Auto-DMs
I've blogged in more detail on this subject here. To save repetition, the summary is: Don't automatically send a direct message to everyone that follows you.


Talk to people as well as broadcasting
If your timeline is full of self-promotional tweets then people are less likely to interact with you. If they see you talk to other people, they're more likely to talk to you.


Check your feed
Not looking at your Twitter feed because, for example, it automatically echoes your Facebook feed is a waste of Twitter. You may well be spewing out content, but your engagement levels are non-existent. People that love Twitter communicate on Twitter as their first choice. They don't want to have to log-in to Facebook to talk to you about something they read on your Twitter feed.


Update regularly
If you don't say anything for weeks at a time, people will be used to you not answering and not joining in the conversation. Also, what does it say about your business? It implies that you can't be bothered to finish what you started. "Reserving your name" on Twitter if you have no intention of using it can impact negatively on your company image.


Enjoy yourself
Twitter can be interesting and fun. if your timeline doesn't interest you then it's time to unfollow a few people and find somebody else to talk to!

Auto DMs, please don't

One of the most sure fire ways to hack off the majority of the Twitter community that I know is to use the "Auto DM on follow" function.

When you find someone you're interested in talking to on Twitter there are a variety of ways people use to decide whether or not to follow them. A, strictly unscientific, straw poll of tweeps gives some insight into the process and the criteria people might use:

• I know them in real life (can be negative or positive!)
• I like the retweets I've seen of them in my timeline
• They're following me and I like their bio
• I loved the reply they sent to my friend (this assumes you copied in the other recipients)
• They made a lovely comment on my blog
• They're local
• They share the same interests/causes as I do

Additional criteria for following businesses:

• There aren't too many sales tweets in their timeline - they talk as well as sell
• I took a look at their website and they seem interesting
• I'm interested in buying from them, but I want to see what they're really like first.

Of course, not everyone will apply all these criteria - and I know there will be other factors that aren't included here. However, you can assume that a (real) new follower has taken an interest in you for a reason and has done some level of decision making and, therefore, research about you.

Now, having made a conscious decision to follow someone, you then receive the Auto DM in response.

Let's go through some typical contents of these DMs:

• Thanks for following me - anodyne but not offensive
• Hope you find us interesting - really? do you think we followed you because you're dull?
• Find out more about us on our website - a link to which is already on your Bio?
• Buy our stuff at really great rates = 'unfollow'

What gets missed by people that use the Auto DM function is the passionate dislike of the things that many of the Twitterati have. I recently asked the tweeps I interact with for their opinions on these 'welcome' DMs. Here's a selection of the more printable responses:

• Instant unfollow, I hate auto DMs
• Unfollow & block, these people really don't get Twitter
• It's SO old fashioned, nobody uses them now, they're awful
• Such a lazy thing to do, what's wrong with talking to people?
• I loathe auto DMs, I have to pay for the texts to my phone and these things cost me money!
• What's the point of them - its' all in their bio anyway

My personal take on Auto DMs and the awful 'thanks for following me @newfollower' tweets is - just don't.